??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
