I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
