You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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