Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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