I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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