She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
