Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
What a dumb baby whore.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
