I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
