Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize