Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
