i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
