Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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