you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
