He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
