Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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