He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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