I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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