is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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