just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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