We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Randomize
