I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
