Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
