Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
