Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
