You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize