it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
