I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
this is an emotional support booty call
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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