i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
