if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
