I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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