I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
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Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
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My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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