You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
