I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
