I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
