Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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