Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
