I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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