He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
