I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
