God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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