The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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