do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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