Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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