she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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