She said her name was "party"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize