apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize