You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize