I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
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This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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