Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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