and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
