Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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