I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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