I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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