i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
