K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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