she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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