I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
