I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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