u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
