Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
