I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
